When I was young I thought life will always be good and fair as long as am not doing any thing wrong . But when I grew up I found out that life isn`t a bed of roses and I learned that in the hard way.
Am a foolish person full of flaws but am proud of all my flaws as long as they are kindness, expecting the good from others,and trust.
I don`t have many faces to wear and although my face can be full of tears and sorrow wrinkles I`ll proudly show them off and talk to my life and say "is that all u got?" .
Well, u can say that`s Foolishness itself but I just can`t see it this way ! .
I had many heart breaks along my way in life and after each heart break, I kept my head up and kept on smiling until a dear friend once gave me a definition for my case . It`s numbness.
Yes, it`s that numb feeling that u have after having many shocks on a row . And that what I kept on doing the past years of my life . I kept on smiling , joking , making friends and go on my life without a closure and without confession with how I felt.
Maybe because I didn`t know how I felt ! I didn`t give myself the time to heal !
I kept my wound opened and instead of healing it , I put it on the danger of being hurted again . And that what exactly happened ! .
I hurted myself time after time after time and I never set down with myself to say "stop ! " .
Because I persuaded myself that am fine while I wasn`t . But it`s never too late to confess . Never to late to let your tears come down and wash away your wounds .Never too late to say "sorry" to your heart "I didn`t mean to do this to u ! " . Never too late to put a closure for your pain and admit that :-
"you are NOT fine "
"you are hurted"
"Stop pretending" !
Let your feelings come out . Let "YOU" come out . That`s what I have learnt .
Am not okay , am hurted and deeply wounded and on the same hand, I don`t need any one`s sympathy I don`t need it because when I need help I wont be ashamed to ask it from a true friend.
Am gonna pull myself together and stand on my feet again . I will have my time to heal until I sincerely say I am fine , I am OKAY.
2 التعليقات:
The thing about closure... is that you either need the other party to get out all your anger, disappointments and frustration out on him... or you just need to accept what happened... give ur self a chance to digest it and then either show him HOW LITTLE he truly is or just be the bigger part let go and move on with ur life... the key word here is move on...NEVER give ur Subconscious a chance to REGRET that you didnt do something about it... CUZ u owe urself that much... you owe ur self some SELF RESPECT and u dnt get that when you always put ur wounds on a shelf and ignoring it and not doing anything... by leaving everybody take a piece of you =)
Find your Closure Hun. ;)
you made my notice what i was missing right now =)
thnx
no, thanks to u !
:)
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