When I was young I thought life will always be good and fair as long as am not doing any thing wrong . But when I grew up I found out that life isn`t a bed of roses and I learned that in the hard way.
Am a foolish person full of flaws but am proud of all my flaws as long as they are kindness, expecting the good from others,and trust.
I don`t have many faces to wear and although my face can be full of tears and sorrow wrinkles I`ll proudly show them off and talk to my life and say "is that all u got?" .
Well, u can say that`s Foolishness itself but I just can`t see it this way ! .
I had many heart breaks along my way in life and after each heart break, I kept my head up and kept on smiling until a dear friend once gave me a definition for my case . It`s numbness.
Yes, it`s that numb feeling that u have after having many shocks on a row . And that what I kept on doing the past years of my life . I kept on smiling , joking , making friends and go on my life without a closure and without confession with how I felt.
Maybe because I didn`t know how I felt ! I didn`t give myself the time to heal !
I kept my wound opened and instead of healing it , I put it on the danger of being hurted again . And that what exactly happened ! .
I hurted myself time after time after time and I never set down with myself to say "stop ! " .
Because I persuaded myself that am fine while I wasn`t . But it`s never too late to confess . Never to late to let your tears come down and wash away your wounds .Never too late to say "sorry" to your heart "I didn`t mean to do this to u ! " . Never too late to put a closure for your pain and admit that :-
"you are NOT fine "
"you are hurted"
"Stop pretending" !
Let your feelings come out . Let "YOU" come out . That`s what I have learnt .
Am not okay , am hurted and deeply wounded and on the same hand, I don`t need any one`s sympathy I don`t need it because when I need help I wont be ashamed to ask it from a true friend.
Am gonna pull myself together and stand on my feet again . I will have my time to heal until I sincerely say I am fine , I am OKAY.
